Strength TogetHER 1 - Session 4

July 4, 2020

From the nervousness of the very first session to the eagerness of the fourth session, the journey of Strength togetHER has been incredible so far. It gives us immense pleasure to say that we have successfully completed the fourth session of Strength togetHER. And not only this, but we have also been able to extend this virtual session to a different group of aspiring girls under the name "Strength togetHER cohort 2."

Our moderator for the session was Mrs. Ashmita Sharma, currently a Marketing Manager of Fightback. She is an organized and creative and enthusiastic person working to expand the market of the company that works to reduce the risk of sexual violence against women and girls. Taking the field of expertise of our moderator in mind, we had selected the topic "It doesn't feel safe being a girl." Basically, we had to share the incidents where we felt unsafe just because we were a girl.

We had five speakers like the rest of the session. Each one of the speakers had different stories and each story gave us a chill. 

• Our first speaker shared two different stories. She is a student studying in Banaras, India. She shared her terrible incident when a friend of hers was molested inside the university. Her other story was of a terrible event where she was cycling her way back to the hostel and a white car asked for directions. Like a normal person would do, she gave them directions but after a few while she noticed that the car was following her. One can imagine how it would have felt to be chased by an unknown car in an unknown city. She portrayed her image as a bold girl but when the incident took place, she became numb. It felt sad when she remarked, "If I would have been a guy, maybe it wouldn't have felt this way."

• Our second speaker showed disapproval on how molesting and harassing in public vehicles are so normalized when it is something that should be considered as a crime. Unsafeness dwells in the heart of every girl when she has to travel in a public vehicle when it should not have been this way. Another incident she shared filled us with disgust and it was disturbing to imagine that such people still do exist. It was a quite early morning when a drunk man was on the street doing unethical things that harm the moral values of the society and with no shame and fear, he called her towards him as if that is something so normal. After several calls, she escaped from there and brought a guy friend along with her towards the man. After seeing her with a guy, the drunk man fled away. It is so disappointing that people like him continue to live in the society with no guilt.

• Our third speaker spoke about how the life of a girl is pre-determined with restrictions and certain regulations she must abide by. She was catcalled by a bunch of guys. The cat-callers do it for a few minutes of fun without realizing that the victim will suffer from the trauma for the rest of their lives. She also shared her incident where she was molested by her tenant. She also expressed how her image of herself being bold was destroyed due to those incidents.

• Our fourth speaker also shared her stories of being catcalled. But it hurt her, even more, when even girls were included in the group of the guys catcalling her. "Nights are scary but even in afternoons, we don't feel safe", she said. One of her lines that really moved me was "The catcallers seek for attention. So, if I would have turned back towards them, they would find their victory in it and I didn't want that." It made us rage when we heard that her friend was molested even by the senior DI and CI of her college.

• Our final speaker divided her incidents into three phases: i) molest ii) catcall iii) stalk How would it feel for a little girl of class 1 to be molested? Our speaker had experienced it. She was molested in college too. Every girl has been catcalled at least once in their life and she had been a victim too. She was stalked two times as well. 

 

It was one of the most interactive sessions we had. Here are a few tips our moderator gave us:

• ESCAPE- being bold doesn't always work.

• Stay away from deserted streets.

• Never take shortcuts ways.

• When our parents advise us to reach home faster or care about our safety, they aren't being conservative but protective.

• Don't share personal details.

• There's a Strength in togetherness.

• Have your boundaries.

• Dress accordingly.

While discussing, our one member shared her tip she had learned: to speak up when you see someone facing immorality. For example: if you are traveling by a public vehicle and you see a man making a girl uncomfortable, pretend to talk with the girl by asking what the time was or something like that so that the man would get alert and realize that he was being watched. This was one of the greatest tips we had ever heard.

I really got to learn a lot of things from this session and got to know that life is not like a movie where the female protagonist slaps the antagonist and the audience cheers. I also got to learn some fight back tips from our moderator. It feels great to be a part of such empowering girls. After the past sessions, I've come to realize that there is really great strength in togetHERness. 

Strength togetHER is no more just a virtual session of a group of girls, it's a family by now.

We ended on a grateful note by sharing thankyous. It was a fruitful session as always and definitely the most interactive session. We are really grateful to Ashmita ma'am who created a great environment for the family of almost 25 girls. It was a great session indeed. Looking forward to more sessions.

Written by : Aastha Shrestha

Edited by: Barsha Tamang (LOKOPAKAR)